Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
