You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
