she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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