I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
