I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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