So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
