So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
