I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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