Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
