she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
