Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
