I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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