I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
