So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think my fart just growled at me.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
