Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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