did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
