hotel room ftw
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
