I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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