I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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