i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
