You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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