So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You made out with two different species that night
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
