I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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