dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
