I think I am morally bankrupt
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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