Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
