We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
