Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
