omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
