i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
