I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
