I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
