The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
