Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Don't make out with my wife yet
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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