Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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