he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
