i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
