I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
