This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
