My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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