I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
