After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
