Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize