I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
