real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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