so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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