She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
