someone get that fucking seahorse.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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