there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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