New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
