take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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