Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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