Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
