I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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