i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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